Forgetfulgods Journal

It strikes me as funny that I’ve had an insight that has led me to writing this piece on insight. What is insight? Well, to me, insight is sudden realization of a connection. What I mean here is that thoughts, opinions, memories…perceptions connect and something new is revealed. It seems almost like two or three things that would never possibly connect do connect and a new spectrum of possibilities are open.

I’ll give you an example, for years I went around trying to build myself into “something”. I didn’t know what that “something” was, of course, but I knew it would make me socially accepted(what I perceived to be love). Now, it never occured to me that in trying to build “myself”, I was actually already something to be built on. See, this whole time period was under the belief that “to be”, one must “be something”. There were lots of options to pick from too…anything from “intellectual” to “Hippie”. But again, it never dawned on me that I was already “something”. Then suddenly it did dawned on me, and I was faced with an ugly fact. If I am something underneath this “idea of who I am”, then I cannot describe myself because I’m not an idea. This is a frightening insight to anyone who believes you must “be something” to be socially accepted(loved). The point is that this insight did, in fact, open a whole new perception to explore.

What I’m saying is that insight itself does happen. Now, one could struggle for insight…even delve into books on people who have had insights. But that is not insight, that is memorization. So how does insight occur? If not through study, how could such “intelligence” simply just appear?

Think about this, until this insight came along, you could not believe it existed. It’s like looking at a painting and not seeing half of it because you don’t believe its there. So how did it come along so suddenly and where did it come from? I’m going to draw from my example above to answer this. In admitting that there is a “self” outside (or within) my idea of my self, I was left with 2 options…and I still am. I could either accept this insight and let go of my need for social acceptance, or I could resist and remain in my idea of who I am. Ideas are, for the most part, beautifully built distractions that can completely take us over when we believe we are our ideas. In the end, our belief is what creates our reality (perception).

Knowing that these are my two choices, I can see two directions. I can either run away from myself, or I can move toward myself (simply being). So, where do insights come from? They come from the “self”. If every idea is created within the “self”, then the “self” itself can be anything at all.

It is very important to remember that Time itself is a perception. Without the belief in time, you are left with the moment. My point is that the “self” can in fact be anything, but if only the moment exists…then it already is everything. There is no process of creation when it comes to ideas or perceptions…in the moment, there can’t be.
Once again we are left with two choices. To accept that all possible perceptions exist at once is to abandon the need for a “process”. I often feel that some sort of “process” is required to advance me as an “individual”, but if “I” am already perceiving “everything” right now then the process is no longer required.

Another example. Throughout my life I have developed goals, ambitions, and even dreams. I have done this because I very much want the “feeling” that achieving these goals would give me. The goal itself, while enjoyable, is enjoyable for the very basic reason that I appreciate it. I could say I appreciate it because I worked for it, but the fact is that I appreciate it because I choose to appreciate it. I could let a million and one things bother me and lose my appreciation, or I could choose not to.

In choosing, I am choosing a perception. In not letting things bother me, I am choosing the perception of appreciation. But, if only the moment truly exists, then I am not creating these perceptions. I am choosing them from an infinite amount of possible perceptions that already exist.

So why did I have to set a goal to have this right to choose? If they’re always available…must I really do anything except choose appreciation?

Ahh, but saying “I will choose appreciation” is much easier than actually doing it. The choice seems almost invisible when faced with the daily workings of the world. I get caught up in things, I form opinions, I get frustrated…the choice of appreciation just doesn’t seem possible in these perceptions. Then again, these perceptions are entirely based on “Time”. It makes sense that to abandon this perception, I must once again abandon time. There it is, appreciation…hidden behind a wall of things I “think could happen”. And what did I have to do to find it?

Relax, Pay Attention, and Be in The Moment. Insight is synonymous with Being.