Seeds and Perception

April 7, 2007 at 2:40 am (Duality, I Change The World, Religion, Thought Vs. Insight, Who Am I)
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I often forget how strong resistance can be within a person until I come face to face with a reflection of myself who is absolutely devoted to self-definition and structure as a means of security. Recently this particular type of reflection has come into my reality and I decided to see if this resistance would end through logical analysis or would simply resist harder. Not surprisingly, the resistance became stronger as the conversation continued.

If you haven’t read my What If and Devoutly Religious posts than I would highly suggest that you visit the comments of both to see how this conversation has progressed.

The thing that really amazes me is that, during the conversation, the reflection I was talking to was actually using quotes that hurt their argument rather than helped it. Often I was accused of contradicting the bible but they were actually contradicting themselves. Asking where my contradictions might be didn’t help because that question was never answered (either because they had no solid answer or they had no understanding of the word “contradict”).

A brief example of one of these contradictions is assertion that this person does not believe they are separate from God…they simply believe that God is above them. It seems to me that “Above” requires something to be “below” and POOF you have a separation.

I have often said in this blog that it is very easy to hold onto a belief, a symbol, an idea, or even a label out of fear. This fear is always a fear of the unknown but manifests in many ways…fear of being alone, fear of not having support, fear of not having definition, even just fear of what life would be like without having heaven to hope for afterwards. I say this, not out of judgement, but out of the awareness that I have and do try to use these fears myself to justify holding onto something.
If you’re not afraid, you have no need to hold onto something that makes you feel safe…like the concept of Heaven after death. This point, however, did not go over very well. In fact, this point was always met with outright defensiveness.

I feel sorry that you think this is all there is to life. How sad. This is heaven and earth you said. This earth is just one piece of our existence for those who trust and believe in Jesus. I would kill myself if I believed that because what would be the point of this life? (Direct Quote from the conversation)

It was as though the idea that The Mind could actually come up with Wisdom on its own was absolutely preposterous….Almost ridiculous. Obviously something must back up what I was saying…otherwise it isn’t worth thinking about.
Once again…fear of not having support.

example.
What do you base your beliefs on–your own thought? Well you got those from somewhere, so aren’t they opinions too? I base my belief on a book that has been around for thousands of years. It has failed to be discredited. It still exists for thousands to read. Why do you think that is so?

Now…at no point had I said the Bible wasn’t valid. I was simply trying to point out that it is not the only source of God’s Word. There are many books throughout history and, if God is the creator of all, it would seem to make sense that all of them were God’s Word in one sense or another. Once again…outright refusal. This conversation about the validity of the Bible went on for some time on her own blog. If you would like to check it out, please visit http://charlottestyle.blogspot.com/2007/04/validity-of-they-bible.html
Update : This post has now been deleted due to the author not liking her own words.
Mark from the Naked Soul blog jumped in as well with a very well worded comment that was also immediately ignored.

The next tactic of resistance was, of course, attacking my vocabulary. I was accused of double-speak at one point and even more often I was accused of not using words properly. I would like to take this opportunity to define the words I apparently misused from an online dictionary.

Wisdom : accumulated knowledge or erudition or enlightenment
Enlightenment : education that results in understanding
By the way, wisdom is not knowing yourself.
Faith : a strong belief in a supernatural power or powers that control human destiny
The Word of God is the Bible. If you actually heard from God, I’d know it from scripture.
Believing : the cognitive process that leads to convictions
I am at least honest in saying where I get my beliefs from–a book that still exists even though many people have tried to get rid of it and have failed miserably!

I would like you to note here that all the text in black is a direct contradiction to the definitions above them. Wisdom is accumulated knowledge or enlightenment and enlightenment, ultimately, is understanding the self. Faith is a strong belief in a consciousness/supernatural force that is responsible for reality and how it works…not belief in a book. Believing is the cognitive process (thoughts/insights/analysis) that leads to convictions…it is not simply believing what someone else has written.

At several points during this conversation the other person would try to get out of explaining her views by saying things like “I don’t want to split hairs” or “I don’t have time now to explain what he meant and I feel it would be wasted anyway. ” This would normally be the point where I would end the conversation and let that reflection think whatever they would like to think…in this case the circumstances were a little different.

What I haven’t mentioned here is that I was not the originator of this conversation. In fact, the very first comment exchanged was on my Heaven & Hell post. Being told that I am “choosing death” is not exactly the friendliest way to begin a conversation….I wasn’t particularly offended by the comment, but I definitely felt that a conversation might be both enlightening and entertaining. Realize here that the other party repeatedly told me that she was “trying to understand my views”…so naturally I was happy to expand on them. What I often forget is that people tend to say things they really don’t mean…but saying those things is supposed to convince me that they mean it.

In the end I was told that “God didn’t tell me to talk to you” despite her previous declaration of belief that God is all-powerful and all-knowing. This is where I truly had to smile. First I was told that I limit God by making God an equal to myself (considering that I think I am “God” and that I myself am an unlimited entity this really didn’t make much sense). Secondly she tells me that God didn’t make her talk to me…as though somehow this particular conversation somehow escaped the infinite matrix that is creation. I pointed this out of course and was promptly told “To clarify, when I said that God didn’t tell me to talk to you–what I meant was that I chose to talk to you.”
All of our choices are also directly a part of “God’s” plan. To say that our choices are somehow separate from what is supposed to happen is not only limiting God, it makes no sense at all.

Unfortunately this conversation ended with her getting quite angry and calling me “coo coo”. I would be the first one to admit that I’m “coo coo”, so this really isn’t an issue. The conversation was then promptly closed to any new comments.

So what is the point to all of this? It’s a reminder…the part of myself that is resistant has been resistant since the beginning. This side of the duality has existed since duality was born from unity and will not waiver until the very end. Overall I’m quite happy that the conversation happened…not because I’ve upset someone (once again, I didn’t start the conversation to begin with…so that choice was hers), but because it reminded me that no matter how straightforward a message might be…it is always open to interpretation. And more importantly, that interpretation is based upon our own fears. We cannot see what we are afraid to see.

Here and Now, Responsibility, Unity….these things can all be feared quite easily. This is why even Jesus spoke in parables…those who would understand did, those who did not would be too confused to get angry.

Matthew 13:10
“And the disciples came and said to him ‘Why do You speak in parables?’
Jesus answered them ‘To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been granted.’”

The parable of the seeds is nothing more than a way of saying that our words will be understood in different ways. Either disregarded, absolutely resisted, somewhat understood and a cause of temporary joy, or absolutely realized in the most profound way possible.
Matthew 13:18
“Hear then the parable of the sower.
When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is the one on whom the seen was sown beside the road.
The one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this is the man who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy;
yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he falls away.
And the one on whom seed was sown among the thorns, this is the man who hears the word, and the worry of the world and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.
And the one on whom seed was sown on the good soil, this is the man who hears the word and understands it; who indeed bears fruit and brings forth, some a hundredfold, some sixty, and some thirty.”

Words can be interpreted in many ways…the seeds can only be sown in the proper perception, otherwise they do not grow.

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Progress…

March 31, 2007 at 5:00 pm (Duality, I Change The World, Who Am I)
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I often say that “choice” is actually a relatively easy thing to do but that, in an infinite amount of moments, it has to be done often (constantly). I say this because our choice very much changes our direction while we travel through different perceptions of ourselves…just like switches on a railroad. Each choice takes us into a perception where our “self” seems further away or closer. Of course it never really is farther away or even closer, but it seems that way…and when it comes down to it, perception is everything.
Acceptance and Resistance…ultimately the only two choices. But what are we accepting? Reality is the ultimate puzzle and often the answer to our questions are right in front of our face. If we are always trying to accept “something” about ourselves and that always brings us back to more questions then wouldn’t it make sense to accept “nothing”? Seems impossible. How does one accept “nothing” without resisting? It all leads back to that middle ground between duality…neither accept nor resist, simply Be. In accepting that I am “nothing” I am not demeaning myself (though this acceptance definitely requires humility)…I am simply stating that I am not a particular “thing”. I am not a body, a student, a teacher, a good or bad person, or even “God”…I am potentially anything…and everything starts from nothing.
The death of the ego self is the death of our concept of the self. When we stop thinking about what we “might be” then we are just being.
Moment by moment I am choosing to accept my own nothingness…this is progress.
(and I haven’t even moved)

I am.

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What is

November 28, 2006 at 7:26 am (I Change The World, Thought Vs. Insight, Who Am I)
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This is going to be a fairly short entry but I thought it was worth writing. In pretty much all branches of “philosophy” the acceptance of what is seems to be the key to understanding ourselves and reality. This seems fairly easy at first, and we are very happy to accept what we think “is”. The problem with this is that our very mind if based on labels, ideas, and concepts…truly, we never really look at anything without referring to our idea of what that thing is.

For example, looking at a tree you would immediately think of the label “tree” and all the things you have “learned” about trees. The problem is that your idea of a tree is not the tree itself, it’s just an attempt to understand and define what you are seeing. So how do we accept “what is” if we cannot label or define “what is?” Simple, stop trying to define it…it only limits the experience.

I’ve often said that our need to define and label anything comes from our need to make things “solid”. If we can say that “this thing is this” then it can no longer be anything else and thus, we no longer have to question it. It’s very comforting to limit things because, in defining the thing, we are escaping the “unknown”. Once we have a solid idea of something it is no longer believed to be “unknown” because now we can classify it as “known”.

But what are these things without their labels? “Energy”, “matter”, even “thoughts” or “illusions” are all labels implying a specific meaning…and thus denying any other possibility.

But without the labels we are simply left with “what is”…we are left with an ever-changing amount of perceptions of everything. That “tree” could teach you about life, about death, about your own inner turmoil or the thoughts of people around you, it could even teach you lessons about water or chocolate…but only if it is not limited by the definition we have given it. Truly, without definition, the tree could be nothing at all, or everything possible…and this is how we can truly “see”.

In accepting the unknown we are no longer limited by the known. The unknown is the door to infinite perception and thus infinite and endless growth.

Glad to be unknown,

A Forgetful God

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Jehovah’s Witness’s come to my door today

November 17, 2006 at 12:10 am (Duality, Religion, Who Am I)
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Over the last few years I have often had to face the inner doubt “What if you’re wrong, what if religion is the path to God?”. This doubt is normal, it’s an attempt to believe I am somehow ill-equipped to answer these questions myself. I’ve went to speak to priests, pastors, monks, and so on…every time feeling that my own answers are closer to the truth that their blind devotion to someone else’s word. Today I got to face this perception again and, for the very first time, I felt no doubt or fear. I spoke with my own voice, I spoke as God. Needless to say, it did not go well.

To make things perfectly clear, I have no issues with people who believe religion is the path to God. I do not wish them harm, I do not believe they’re wrong…nobody is wrong. The only thing I question is the origin of their beliefs. This is the one and only problem that people of a religious persuasion have with me, I do not believe they are truly worshipping God because they refuse to make their own opinions…they pass off that responsibility to The Bible. Why try to understand something when that search makes you face the things about yourself that you don’t like?

This thought process amazes me and scares me, all at the same time. How many people out there cling to a belief system just because it justifies their guilt and fear? My visitors today would simply not believe that they are perfect…they must be sinners and below God. Why? Because that belief justifies their attachment to their own Guilt. Telling someone they feel guilt and fear because they choose to is the last thing they want to hear. It is much easier to deal with guilt and fear when you believe that it’s not your fault…you were designed this way.

When the subject of their imperfection came up I simply smiled at the Bible my visitor held onto so tightly and asked “but, you believe God is perfect and makes no mistakes…how then can you make mistakes if everything in existence is there by that God’s will?”. I’ve said in previous writings that God is not just the good things in existence, it is everything. We are all doing what we are supposed to…our perception of those things are up to us. Of course this comment was met with complete resistance.

“So you do not believe there is anything that is unacceptable?”

This was a blatant trap…he was tempting me with opinion. For me to say something is unacceptable or not is based in Duality. I could only answer with “Things simply are…my opinion of them is up to me, but they are neither acceptable or unacceptable, they are necessary…otherwise they would not exist.” God makes no mistakes, right? Ha!

After some time our guests finally started to clue into the fact that my wife and I are not just “anti-religious fanatics”, we see what we see because of our willingness to follow our own insights. When one of our visitors said “We were created in God’s image” I absolutely laughed and agreed. I also pointed out that if we are made in God’s image, how are we inferior to God? By this time things were getting a little uncomfortable for our dear Jehovah’s Witnesses so they went on the attack.

“If I can’t prove you wrong, I’m going to judge you and justify my dislike of what you say” – - > Often the last resort of someone who just doesn’t want to let go of their labels. They squirm like a worm on a hook when you truly put it on them that they do not worship God, they worship a book. And so, the assault began.

First was the fact that I live in an apartment with electricity and conveniences. Obviously I’m not happy with what I have otherwise I wouldn’t have these things….This was easy enough to explain, I just returned from my last adventure into the forest. In fact, I was almost ready to leave this all behind entirely but my story was meant to lead me elsewhere (once again, I learned patience.). Since returning to “civilization” (laughable statement) I have not made any attempt to obtain things, I have made no goals, and I have certainly not attempted to gain “wealth”. Despite my best efforts to have nothing, things still came into my life. In fact, every single thing in my apartment has been given to me in the last 6 months…out of friendship or trade. I offer myself and my reality to anyone, and so they do the same for me.

So, with the first attempt to judge me out of the way, my visitor continued his assault. This time it was an attack on my “means of surviving”. When I told him I do not work he immediately assumed I must “leech off of others”…this is so far from the truth that it is scary, but the answer “Money comes through faith” wasn’t sufficient. It is the only answer I can give however…I have no job and neither does my wife, but we are never afraid for the future. “God” has always provided and always will.

This belief actually made our guests even more uncomfortable. They preach of faith in God but have no belief. The very idea that working is a choice and not a necessity to survival was quite insulting to them…mostly because they’ve always worked and believe that there is no other way. The Bible is their main reference point, so I decided to quote from it just to illustrate my point. I referred to the story of Christ walking on water. He called his disciple out onto the water with him, saying there was nothing to fear. The disciple did so and actually did stand on the water, only falling through when he doubted. Christ simply said “what little faith you have”.

The more we pointed to the truth of the Bible and away from the blind worship of it, the more our guests seem to look for ways to judge us. Eventually, after scanning my livingroom several times for more reasons to judge me, they were only left with two possibilities and they went for it. Out of sheer desperation and the need to feel better than me, he tried to point out that he knew more than I do because of his advanced age. This is laughable to me because we are not limited by our age, only our willingness to learn and grow. I simply dismissed this judgement and told him blatantly that he was judging me and trying to make himself feel better than myself and my wife for the simple purpose of justifying his denial. He had done this several times in the conversation actually…in every instance he was met by the truth. “You sir, are not better. We are equal”.

Finally, with nowhere else to turn, he ran back to a Grade Two mentality. He attacked my glasses. Ha! Nothing like memories of taunting children yelling “Four eyes! Four eyes!” to be suddenly made perfectly clear to me. This was his last argument, I must be imperfect if I need glasses to see. Once again we laughed, I had just come out of the rainforest where I had no glasses for several months. I existed in a state of “fuzziness” and learned to appreciate it. After all, I could still see…it was just a different type of sight.

“Why do you have them now then?” because they popped into my life. I didn’t look for them, they just came…the appointment, the money to pay for them, everything…they didn’t believe me of course, but that doesn’t really matter.

Now, I use “swear words” occasionally, not out of disrespect but out of respect for the vast thing that is language. Honestly, I have no issues with people swearing…a word is a word. I don’t swear constantly, but occasionally the word “sh!t” is helpful in emphasizing a point…our guests did not agree. I believe the only really important thing in life is respect for ourselves and others. If I’m in someone else’s house, I do not tell them how to live or what to believe. Once again judging me, I was told “I do not appreciate your language”…in my own house! I had to laugh because here I was at least listening to his perverted idea of God despite the fact that I didn’t agree with it. So, seeing he was just getting more determined to make me into a monster, I ended the conversation.

My wife and I talked about this later, feeling that perhaps we should not have parted with our guests when they were angry….honestly, their anger is not my problem. As I mentioned, I hold no ill-will towards these people….but I am perfectly aware of resistance for the sake of resisting. This conversation was never meant to be open, they wanted to teach me.

I definitely learned…I am grateful that this conversation happened. It re-affirmed my belief in myself. After all, why would I believe in religion when it’s very clear that these people were not happy in that belief? Why should I choose to fear hell when I know it does not exist?

I am grateful for every experience like this because it is an opportunity to talk to the reflection of me that truly does not want to be responsible. It is good to see that part of me and know that, despite it’s best efforts to be afraid, it will never be hurt…it simply chooses to believe it will. I accept that I could believe this, I simply choose not to.

“Do you have faith” was my favourite question. I could only answer, again with their own bible, that my faith is smaller than a mustard seed. Without fear, I have no need of faith. I know myself.

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