Insight

October 18, 2006 at 9:10 pm (Thought Vs. Insight, Who Am I)
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It strikes me as funny that I’ve had an insight that has led me to writing this piece on insight. What is insight? Well, to me, insight is sudden realization of a connection. What I mean here is that thoughts, opinions, memories…perceptions connect and something new is revealed. It seems almost like two or three things that would never possibly connect do connect and a new spectrum of possibilities are open.

I’ll give you an example, for years I went around trying to build myself into “something”. I didn’t know what that “something” was, of course, but I knew it would make me socially accepted(what I perceived to be love). Now, it never occured to me that in trying to build “myself”, I was actually already something to be built on. See, this whole time period was under the belief that “to be”, one must “be something”. There were lots of options to pick from too…anything from “intellectual” to “Hippie”. But again, it never dawned on me that I was already “something”. Then suddenly it did dawned on me, and I was faced with an ugly fact. If I am something underneath this “idea of who I am”, then I cannot describe myself because I’m not an idea. This is a frightening insight to anyone who believes you must “be something” to be socially accepted(loved). The point is that this insight did, in fact, open a whole new perception to explore.

What I’m saying is that insight itself does happen. Now, one could struggle for insight…even delve into books on people who have had insights. But that is not insight, that is memorization. So how does insight occur? If not through study, how could such “intelligence” simply just appear?

Think about this, until this insight came along, you could not believe it existed. It’s like looking at a painting and not seeing half of it because you don’t believe its there. So how did it come along so suddenly and where did it come from? I’m going to draw from my example above to answer this. In admitting that there is a “self” outside (or within) my idea of my self, I was left with 2 options…and I still am. I could either accept this insight and let go of my need for social acceptance, or I could resist and remain in my idea of who I am. Ideas are, for the most part, beautifully built distractions that can completely take us over when we believe we are our ideas. In the end, our belief is what creates our reality (perception).

Knowing that these are my two choices, I can see two directions. I can either run away from myself, or I can move toward myself (simply being). So, where do insights come from? They come from the “self”. If every idea is created within the “self”, then the “self” itself can be anything at all.

It is very important to remember that Time itself is a perception. Without the belief in time, you are left with the moment. My point is that the “self” can in fact be anything, but if only the moment exists…then it already is everything. There is no process of creation when it comes to ideas or perceptions…in the moment, there can’t be.
Once again we are left with two choices. To accept that all possible perceptions exist at once is to abandon the need for a “process”. I often feel that some sort of “process” is required to advance me as an “individual”, but if “I” am already perceiving “everything” right now then the process is no longer required.

Another example. Throughout my life I have developed goals, ambitions, and even dreams. I have done this because I very much want the “feeling” that achieving these goals would give me. The goal itself, while enjoyable, is enjoyable for the very basic reason that I appreciate it. I could say I appreciate it because I worked for it, but the fact is that I appreciate it because I choose to appreciate it. I could let a million and one things bother me and lose my appreciation, or I could choose not to.

In choosing, I am choosing a perception. In not letting things bother me, I am choosing the perception of appreciation. But, if only the moment truly exists, then I am not creating these perceptions. I am choosing them from an infinite amount of possible perceptions that already exist.

So why did I have to set a goal to have this right to choose? If they’re always available…must I really do anything except choose appreciation?

Ahh, but saying “I will choose appreciation” is much easier than actually doing it. The choice seems almost invisible when faced with the daily workings of the world. I get caught up in things, I form opinions, I get frustrated…the choice of appreciation just doesn’t seem possible in these perceptions. Then again, these perceptions are entirely based on “Time”. It makes sense that to abandon this perception, I must once again abandon time. There it is, appreciation…hidden behind a wall of things I “think could happen”. And what did I have to do to find it?

Relax, Pay Attention, and Be in The Moment. Insight is synonymous with Being.

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How to avoid the answers…

October 12, 2006 at 9:54 pm (Duality, I Change The World, Who Am I)
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The answer “There is no question” is an absolute kick in the teeth to us “seekers of truth”. In honesty, I am unwilling to let go of the self-perception that I am a “spiritual person” or even “seeking god”. Why? Because it makes me feel better about myself. Is this a valid reason? Truly, as a free and infinitely adaptable consciousness, do I have any legitimate reason to need to feel better about myself? How much better does it get?
So why do I hold onto to these labels? Why do I feel they are necessary to my existence? Because if I continue to hold onto them, I never have to deal with that brick wall that is “there is no question.” That’s it…when it boils down to it, all my beliefs, fears, judgments, and reactions are based on this avoidance. I want those labels…they are “important”.
But really, all a label has ever done is describe something. If an infinite range of perception is available, then a label is simply trapping us in the perception of it’s creator, not our own. The point is that any thing could be perceived in any way, to define that thing is to attempt to control change. We attempt to control our surroundings, our language, our community, our thoughts, our memories, our belief system, and even our own free will. All this simply to avoid an answer.
So why do I try to control reality? Because it is a distraction. If I am busy participating in the “outside world”, I continue to hold onto the perception that I am separate from reality. Every single belief or fear that I have exists for the simple reason that I do not want to let them go. Ultimately, the only reason that I believe I am separate from reality is because I choose to believe it. If all perceptions are open to us, why then is it so hard to see this one? What is it about Unity that makes us run back to Duality?
Responsibility. Admitting that all of reality is contained in a single “consciousness”(I have to use a word here even though it doesn’t really apply to an indescribable thing. This is the unfortunate limitation of language) is simple…in fact, we whole-heartedly enjoy believing in “God” because if there was a such thing as “God” then It would be responsible for how things are going.
But to admit that all of reality exists only in your consciousness means that you can no longer pass the buck. Basically it means that the things I hold onto are made real by my attention to them.
It is very hard to admit that everything that exists, exists because God wants it to. It’s harder when You are God.
And Boom! Just like that the thoughts come whirling in…at the forefront of the charge is Judgement.
“But there are horrible things and people in the world, I would never do those things.” –> Yes, I would if I were in the right circumstances and particular frame of mind. Basically if I was that person, that is exactly what I would do. Life is a long and infinitely complex journey of choice after choice after choice….each moment of your reality is a turning point. If perception is the map, and an infinite amount of perceptions exist, then it is our choices that decide where our journey takes us.
Boom! More atrocities turn up…murder, rape, war, disease, starvation!
“I would never do these things!” –> Once again, yes I probably would. But before casting judgement on these things, remember Duality. Horrible is the opposite of Wonderful…without one, there would be no other. This is truly hard to admit, but everything is happening so that I can experience. Not experience “something” in particular…but to experience period.
Without duality there is no experience. There is simple Unity.
So how do I avoid the answer? Simple…stay clear of these 3 habits.

Relaxing
/\
The Moment —– Paying Attention

To be honest, these 3 things actually mean the same thing.
One cannot be done without the other 2.
Example : Relaxing implies letting go of control. This leads to letting go of thought. Without thought we have unbiased experience. This experience is not distracted by the workings of the mind because you are relaxed…therefore you are paying attention. In paying attention you abandon Time…leading you to The Moment.

Why ask “Why?” Because the questions very existence implies I do not know the answer.

If you want to avoid the Answer…just keep asking questions. For every question you create, a justifiable reason to escape responsibility is born.

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Duality and Creation : Where are Heaven and Hell?

October 12, 2006 at 8:01 pm (Duality)
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I have often said that Duality is the very foundation of Creation. I say this because the concept of Duality simply means that one thing must have something else to compare itself to, otherwise there would be only one thing (“everything”). This may seem fairly obvious, but the actual depths of this insight are vital to understanding both yourself and reality.

Duality plays into everything…
Physically: Light/Dark, Soft/Hard, Visible/Invisible, Real/Unreal, Awake/Asleep, Living/Dead, Quiet/Loud, Past/The Future, etc.
Mentally: Anger/Love, Fear/Faith, Greed/Generousity, Wisdom/Foolishness, Sadness/Joy, Understanding/Confusion, etc.

The most important thing to remember is not “why duality exists” but rather that it does exist. You could question this, even go into great thought about each of the things that I have listed. You could delve into memory, or even read a book to validate this . Realize though, no matter how much you want to doubt that this is true…it will still remain true.

Duality, however, is not the only reason I am writing this. I am writing this as an attempt to understand the origin of this thing we call “Heaven” and “Hell”. Modern religion would state that Heaven and Hell are destinations after death. The pearly white gates in the clouds and the eternity of pain in the Lake of Fire (nice imagery, eh?)
Ignoring the assumptions of others, what then is Heaven and Hell? Where are these places? The answer lies in Duality.

Heaven and Hell are simply two sides of the same thing. The very concept of “God” is that God is everything…and therfore one thing. Putting this together, Heaven and Hell are just perception of God. To explain this a little better, let’s look at what we think Heaven and Hell are like.

Hell : Pain, Torture, Sorrow, Guilt, Punishment for “Sins”
Heaven : Peace, Love, Contentment, and Safety

Basically, Hell is reality without the presence of “God”, where Heaven is simply reality in complete connection to “God”.
Remembering who you are (see “A question worth asking…”), does this not mean that Heaven and Hell are entirely dependant on how you view reality? Everything that exists, exists in your mind…you have infinite freedom to view reality however you please. This alone gives you the keys to Heaven or Hell. Duality comes into play again here. As I mentioned in another writing, in Duality you can either move away from something or towards something..the argument could be made that you can go “sideways” but that would still mean moving “towards” one direction or “away” from another.
Knowing that you are “God”, this means that Heaven and Hell are perceptions of yourself. This also means that Heaven and Hell are not destinations after death…they are, in fact, right here and readily available to us (as everything else is)

To be yourself is Heaven, To attempt to be something else is Hell.

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Change, Help, and Personal Responsibility

October 12, 2006 at 1:25 am (I Change The World)
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In this world there are many different types of strange phenomena. One of the strangest has to be our insatiable desire to implement change. We honestly believe that without our help, change would not occur. We assume that, even if change did happen without us, it would inevitably be worse than change according to our design. Such arrogance we have! It is funny that we struggle to control the only constant in our known reality…inevitable change.
So why do we have this need for control? To put it bluntly, we are afraid of change. The very idea that something might happen that we do not expect frightens us to death. In fact, this fear is so widespread that we naturally associate it to other people, assuming that our council and advice will obviously improve the lives of others.

The truly ironic part of all this is that eventually, after many generations, we also end up at the receiving end of someone elses need for control/security. Want an example? The entire concept of government is based on the need to control the status quo. So, now that the status quo has been decided, enforced, and made convenient, the public goes out into the world with a renewed sense of safety…until something happens that was not previously expected. Luckily, the system is fool-proof when it comes to offering the illusion of control. Despite the fact that we know the government controls our education, laws, and even health care, we believe that, again, we must implement change. Rallies, riots, terrorists…each one a more extreme reflection of our need for control and our growing fear of uncontrolled change.
When will it be time for us, as a species, to stop and abandon our need for control? Left and right we will protest that we have found enlightenment and still we go out into the world looking for those who “need” us. Why? Because throughout our lives, other people have been using us for the same reason. Isn’t it hard to accept that every assumption you have is based on the belief of someone else who just had to “improve” your life?

Control and Dependancy go hand in hand…for us to give up one, we need to give up the other. Not as a society, that is how all of this began in the first place. You don’t have to go out there the change the world. Your world is not out there your world is in you. For the longest time, we have believed that group decisions are best for the whole…unfortunately this creates a system where only a select number are pleased while the others are forced to abide by the collective decision. The slogan “we are all in this together” has been manipulated and bastardized to make you believe that only through numbers will positive change ever happen in the world.
This view of change is very limited, and more importantly, very inaccurate. We assume that the only important change is large-scale change because those are the only changes we stop to notice. Now, this is not because massive change is the only actual change…this is because we’re moving too quickly to notice the very small and most important changes.
One of our natural assumptions has always been that everyone is seperate from everyone else and that thoughts are individual and private. This assumption is based on our belief in seperation…we believe that we are seperate from reality. Just for a moment, lets say that this belief is a perception…not necessarily the end-all and be-all, but one way of interpreting the world.
As I’ve mentioned in other writings, Duality is the absolute foundation of all perception. For love you have Hate, for arrogance you have Humility, and of course everything in between. We’ll discuss this another time, but for now let’s say that every perception has an equal opposite perception which is just as valid according to the perceiver. Saying that, let us look back at our last assumption.

“We are seperate from reality because we are within it.” : This perception makes you and I very small specks in an apparently random mass of cause and effect.

My point is simply this, for this perception of seperation to exist the equal and opposite perception must also be available to us.

“I am connected to reality because it is within me”: This perception creates absolute responsibility. Reality is within, and therefore all things within reality are a reflection of your beliefs, fears, doubts, deceptions, guilt, hopes, and even feelings. Change through active control of the outside world is redundant in this perception, change is entirely dependant on the perceivers ability to understand Duality. Within the mind, one has 3 options…to be looking for oneself, to be running from oneself, or to be oneself. Each of these states of perception are directly linked to how “reality” and you interact. It is in this perception that attention is paid to the smallest changes within, these are the origins of the larger changes without.

In this perception, help becomes an entirely new concept. The concept of helping someone is based on our beleif that they need help. Think about this…our entire lives are devoted to finding ourselves…whether we know and admit it or not. The only true way to find yourself is through abandoning your fear and standing on your own…but, how did you learn to stand in the first place? As much as we hate to admit it, it is our hard times, our loneliest and most frustrated times that teach us our own ability to survive and flourish.

Our help is misplaced, it seems, because we are trying to make life easier on others, and all we are doing is creating a dependance in them. We are helping them avoid responsibility by believing that we are responsible for them. I realize that this may sound cold-hearted…it did to me at first. But the fact is that coddling people builds dependancy and inevitably a disbelief that any responsibility should be taken at all. This does not mean you shouldn’t help someone carry a bag or move to a new house…by all means, help the person who would willingly do the job themself…the person who is not willing to try should be left to their own actions until responsibility is learned (reality is beautiful that way). These are reflections of you that believe they do not have choice or freedom, to be their crutch is choosing to let these reflections continue to exist.

So, what are we ultimately responsible for? Ourselves and our perception of the world. We are not responsible to ideals, morals, laws, people, or even God. We are responsible for what we hold onto and the “consequences” those things bring. We are responsible for this because, as “God”, we create these hardships…we create circumstances specifically for the purposes of altering our own personal story. Choice is the path through perception and our circumstances alter our choice..inevitably we find ourselves with the same 3 choices we have in the Mind. Be yourself, find yourself, or run from yourself.

Your responsibility is to choose…not once, but every moment you create.

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A Question Worth Asking…

October 11, 2006 at 8:37 pm (Who Am I)
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Throughout my entire life I have questioned who I am. True, there were times when I was absolutely convinced I knew who I was, only to find that person changing into something else. There were times when I decided I wanted to be something, tried my best to play the role, only to find myself faced with the same question….Who am I? As I noticed this question more, I began to notice my own reactions to this question. Anger, confusion, sadness, fidgeting, smoking, drinking, dependance on others for support, and even the media were scapegoats. When all is said and done, the only person who can answer the question is yourself…so, I decided it was worth answering. Unfortunately, trying to find yourself is a lot different from being yourself. It seems that most of my reactions, thoughts, and even impulses were based on experiences I had went through before. It occured to me here that even basing myself on my past is an escape…the question is not “Where have I been?”, the question is “Who am I?”. The problem with any question is that it requires an answer….but every answer is a label, an idea….to say I am one thing implies that I am not another. I have the capacity for choice, which also gives me the capacity for endless change…so I cannot be simply one thing, I can only be described as potentially everything. And then again comes the question…What is this thing I am that can be anything? If it can “be” anything, then it’s not actually “anything” but rather “nothing”. That sounded kind of frightening, so I thought it out a bit more. “Nothing” does not exist…even “nothing” is made of something, otherwise it wouldn’t be describable. It seems to make a complete circle, ending in nowhere…nothing is the same as anything?
This circle is the most frustrating thing about the search for myself…always I want to answer a question, only to find that asking the question is simply avoiding the answer I already have.
This is very much like the question “What do you know is real?”. You can point to things, describe things, and even tell a story…but the fact is that these things are only real in My mind…dreaming seems absolutely real, and when I’m dreaming it is real. So what then is the difference between dreaming and being awake if the mind is what makes things real? Once again though we are led back to our original point…what is the mind that “makes things real?” If it cannot be described, you are simply left with one answer….you. Not your idea of what “you” are, but this infinitely adaptable and free “consciousness” that is the very center of the “thought tornado”. You are the thing that creates thought itself.
Right here is where I decided to ask another question…If I am the thing that creates thought, what am I like when I’m not thinking? Sounds a little counter-evolutionary, doesn’t it? Again though, thinking is essentially the same as doubting…if I’m thinking about it, I’m doubting I already know it…and if thought and reality are created by My mind, then I absolutely Must know exactly when I need to know all the time. Right? Sounded good enough to me…
It came as very little surprise to me when I discovered that thinking about not thinking is a lot easier to accomplish than actually stopping thought. It seems almost like a river of infinitely random perceptions…suddenly I’m thinking about the past, suddenly I’m self conscious, suddenly I’m planning for the future hopefully. So who am I? I have the right to choose…I have this right by my ability to choose. Can I not then choose not to participate? Can I not simply choose to stop doubting? Can I choose to ignore thought and just be present? The answer was no, you cannot ignore thought or it will eventually overwhelm you. If everything, including thought, is the product of My mind, then it would be foolish to try to ignore myself. So how do I cope with this endless maelstrom that is my mind?
To answer this question, I had to first figure out what my mind really is, and more importantly how it works. Now think about this, all of reality is in your mind…your mind being this “nothingness” that can be anything. It’s funny, but even “science” admits that all matter, broken down far enough is that Same Matter and is in fact, 99% empty space. This one is a little hard to grasp, but basically what I’m saying is that the computer screen your reading on right now is 99% empty space…it’s not made of anything substantial. Go ahead, touch the screen, it seems very real, doesn’t it? It’s solid, the shape doesn’t change, and you can say it’s “real”. But is it?
A paradox is the biggest and most irritating thought process in the world. But when it comes down to it, that is what reality is…it’s a paradox. And here is why. The universe, time, space, and an infinite amount of things exist in reality….but without you here to perceive reality, would it exist? You cannot use another person or event to answer this because the fact is that you don’t know…all you are sure of is that You exist. You who makes choices, You who perceives reality, and You who can be anything.
Religion and Spirituality have a concept that describes an “All powerful Entity that embodies everything” called God. I say that God is a concept because once again it is a Label, and a Label always has an “idea of what the thing is” when it could be anything at all. Though I do not believe in a pleasant looking grey haired old man in the clouds, I do have to question the validity of the concept. What would it mean to be “All powerful and have the capacity for anything?” What would I do if I were God?
I would do everything…But “doing” implies having “something” to do. I would have to “create” something to do and even a body to do it in. But as God I would be “everything”, how can I “be in” something when it’s in me? Duality…that’s the key. If there are always 2 perceptions of one thing, than I have choice between one or the other. Poof, just like that, Duality/Creation was born. Light, Dark, Hard, Soft, Living, Dead, The Future and The Past…all of it linked together as two perceptions of the same one thing. Now God could be “one thing” in “something else” because it could perceive itself as one half of the same thing. Of course God would want to experience every different form possible….spider, cat, human, tree, rock, lizard, etc….everything. After all, God is Eternal….that’s a long time to kill.
Here’s a good question for God…would you forget your god if you could? You might ask yourself, “why would God want to forget itself?” Think about it…God is one thing. The only thing. That also means that God is alone and always will be. Of course, God having Eternity, even this question would be answered. Because all things are possible to God, all things are reality as well. So there are in fact, realities where God has absolutely convinced itself that it is not God.
So, who am I then who can create a concept called “God?” If all things are in my mind, then surely even God is a creation of my own idea and design. So if even God is my creation, I have to ask myself again…who am I? Am I God? Millions of thoughts and defences pop into my head, all of them screaming like a legion of angry demons that this cannot be true…doubts, fears, accusation of arrogance, and especially thoughts of unworthiness clammor before me. However, I am not my thoughts, I am that which chooses. I can choose to believe I have the right. I can cast out these “demon thoughts” by simply seeing them for what they are….necessary creations of duality.
So the question finally changes….it is no longer “Who am I?”
It is “Am I willing to admit who I am?”

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